High praise has been given to the Coastal Grill by local reviewers – Hampton Roads Magazine even awarded the restaurant their top Platinum Plate award – but I beg to differ. A lot.
Things went from bad to worse at Coastal Grill. At first we weren’t even sure where the entrance was (it’s on the left hidden being a window), and after we entered we discovered that we were standing no more than 5 feet from the nearest table. They really pack you in at this place, which may be due to the fact that it is pretty small (it was so cramped that when I was eating I would literally have to stop and pull my arms in for people to pass on either side). After a minute a hostess appeared and seated us promptly to the aforementioned table.
Once seated I had a minute to look around, and was dissapointed in everything I saw. From the 1984 green carpet, to the blech green ceiling tile, and finally the green and white table clothes covered by a thing peice of white paper, it should not surprise that I wasn’t thrilled with the decor. It may not be the worst looking place I’ve ever eaten in, but Coastal Grill can’t even see the best from where it stands. No eatery that papers their tables will likely ever receive high marks from me. It always seems that people who paper tables are either cheap or don’t trust customers with their precious table clothes. Add to that the stiff wooden chairs and the near pitch-black nature of the hall leading to the restroom and you have a real nightmare on your hands. The restroom could be best described as a mirror image of that of my public high school. My underfunded and over crowded public high school in rural Virginia.
Still reading? Let’s move on to the food then. Yawn. That’s the word that best describes the menu and the resulting meal. From plain-ish appetizers to a mediocre entree, followed by an average desert left me full but unsatisfied. A little too full – for the rest of the night and the next day I felt quite ill, though I can’t pinpoint what may have been the cause. It also appeared that everyone received the same sides – roasted potatoes and corn on the cobb – no matter what entree they ordered. I could be wrong about this because I didn’t check every plate in the room, but there were a lot of people eating corn on the cobb that evening.
The service was decent at least. Though obviously overwhelmed with tables our waiter managed to pretty much keep up with the pace we were setting. Another issue at Coastal Grill is the noise. It was extremely noisy during our visit. So loud in fact that the waiter literally leaned in to the table to shout the specials to our perked ears. Even then it was difficult to hear him. The prices aren’t outragous either. Those were the only redeeming qualities of Coastal Grill.
But decent service and average prices won’t be enough to make you forget about the hideous decor, cramped quarters, boring menu and deafening noise levels. I can find no reason to recommend Coastal Grill to anyone, and highly doubt that I will even return.
With best intentions I’m sure, Coastal Grill tries to create a homey atmosphere—plaid table cloths, and big wooden chairs with arm rests. However, with the close seating, unpadded chairs, paper covered tables, and golf course green decor that covers every inch of the place including the push-out ceiling panels, it certainly doesn’t fit the term homey by my standards. Having been open since the late 80s, I don’t think they’ve updated their look since then or changed their light bulbs as it was a very dark trip down the hallway to the bathroom.
The atmosphere according to my standards was rather cheap. On top of the green and white plaid table cloth lay a starchy piece of paper. The paper is changed out between guests (thank God), and the paper for the round tables has to actually be cut in a circular shape to fit. It’s really quite amusing to watch the wait staff cut the giant circle. Just as I was starting to get past the atmosphere aspect, I noticed that the cloth napkin in my lap was shedding at a pretty rapid pace. This is definitely not the place to wear black. Before the appetizer even arrived I was covered in lint.
Although atmosphere is an important part of a restaurant in my book, I was still hopeful that the food might be impressive. To my dismay, my appetizer was comparable to something I would get at Applebee’s. The bread served before the meal wasn’t the best either, and the butter was not spreadable on the bread because it was so hard. I ordered one of the “blackboard specials”. Nothing was overcooked, but the fish was very bland and scalding hot. The side of potatoes also lacked flavor. The corn was the most tasty part of my meal—crunchy and buttery. For desert I expected fresh peaches to accompany my ice cream and pound cake, since they are readily available at this time of year. Of course, I was disappointed. The pound cake was a little dry, but the ice cream added a nice touch.
If my mother had cooked this meal, I would have said, “it’s okay”, but coming from a restaurant setting, I’d say the meal was disappointing. No single thing at Coastal Grill wowed me—not the food, not the atmosphere, and not the service. I did not feel catered to by the service. I constantly felt like the waiter was trying to squeeze us into his tight schedule of tables. The point of dining out is to get better than average food with better than average service in an atmosphere that is appealing. Even with the atmosphere factor taken out, this place just isn’t upscale and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who is seeking a fine dining experience.
Contact Information for Coastal Grill:
Coastal Grill
1427 N. Great Neck Rd.
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23510
757-496-3348
http://www.coastalgrill.com/
